RWBY Fables
by MahinaFable
Summary: A collection of fables and parables set within the RWBY universe.
1. Ren and the Eight Winds

**RWBY Fables**

**Author's Note: This is a compilation of fables and parables, with a RWBY flavor to them. Enjoy!**

**Ren and the Eight Winds**

One night at Beacon, Lie Ren was deep in contemplation. With effortless yet precise strokes of his brush, he wove the concepts of his mind into legible words on a canvas. The young man set down his brush and gazed at the words he had inscribed.

"Whatcha doin'?" Nora asked from over his shoulder.

"Poetry." He took a deep breath and began to recite his words.

"I bow my head to the heaven within heaven

Hairline rays illuminating the universe.

The eight winds cannot move me

Sitting still upon the purple golden lotus."

Nora shrugged. "I don't get it." And with that, she proceeded to let rip with one of the most devastating bursts of flatulence in Remnant's history. It began as a small, squeaking thing, but soon erupted into a mighty roar, a sound like thunder, and a stench like death. The windows rattled, the floor shook, and their side of the dorm room took on a pale green haze. Even after it finally, mercifully ceased, the echoes of Nora's almighty backside blast reverberated through the room.

Ren covered his nose with a kerchief and quickly ran to the other side of the dorm room to open a window. "Ugh, Nora! What was that?! How did you even _do_ that?! We are never doing another chili dog cookoff ever again!"

Nora just peered over at him. "Huh. You say the eight winds can't move you, but one fart sure blew you across the room easy enough."

With that, Lie Ren recognized the folly of his arrogance, and bowed to his lifelong friend Nora in humility and gratitude.

**Entry Endnote: Yes, this is a real parable. Specifically, it's a Zen Buddhist story about Su Dongpo and Master Fo Yin. The eight winds refer to gain, loss, pleasure, pain, praise, mockery, honor, and disgrace, the eight forces that act upon men to drive their actions. Su Dongpo composed the poem and sent it to Master Fo Yin, who called bullshit on it by scribbling "FART" across it. When Su Dongpo arrived to question what the hell, Fo Yin pointed out that, for someone claiming spiritual enlightenment, "one fart" blew him across the river.**

**-Mahina**


	2. Ruby's Big Race

**Ruby's Big Race**

At Beacon Academy, the future Huntsmen and Huntresses of tomorrow honed their abilities in a variety of ways, and, as young, headstrong people are wont to do, they frequently turned their training into competitions, seeking prestige and entertainment to ease the burden of their regimen. One such competition was an annual footrace, where students would navigate a course through the Emerald Forest to practice their ability to swiftly traverse woodland terrain.

One year, a young woman with a bright red hood decided that she would not only win the race, but she would set a Beacon school record. Officially! With, like, numbers and her name on a pretty plaque and everything! Hopping on top of one of the cafeteria tables, Ruby pointed to her friends in succession.

"I'm gonna kick your butt, and I'm gonna kick _your_ butt, and _you're_ going down, and I'm even gonna beat you!" Ruby finished by pointing her finger dramatically at Pyrrha.

Pyrrha shrugged. "Eh, I'm not competing," she said.

"W-what?" Ruby's face fell and her finger wavered a bit. "But, what about the rest of you?"

Weiss examined her nails. "I have better things to do than run in the woods, Ruby."

"Yeah," added Yang. "We all know you're gonna win anyway. The prize is just some spending cash and bragging rights anyway."

Ruby looked to her final team member… who had been reading the entire time, and didn't even realize that Ruby had spoken at all. "Aww…" the hooded redhead whined.

"I'll race with you," Jaune offered. His smile faded as he heard the snickering from his other friends. "What?"

Ruby spread her hands in an attempt to soften the blow. "Um… I appreciate the offer, but, uh… you're slow. Like, really slow."

"He also can't run quickly," Weiss added as she filed her nails.

Jaune's smile fell as Ruby turned a flat expression to her partner. "Wow, really, Weiss?" Ruby asked, annoyed.

"Deal with it."

"_Anyway_," Jaune broke in. "I might not be super fast, but that doesn't mean that I can't improve. I may not ever be the very best out of everyone, but that doesn't mean that I can't try to be _my_ very best. It might just be good enough to make a difference."

"Wow, 'Good enough', the motto of mediocrity. You should put that on your coat of arms."

Before Ruby could admonish her partner for being extra Weiss-y that day, a freak accident involving a can of grape soda mysteriously occurred. The beverage sailed through the air and spontaneously imploded directly over Weiss, drenching her in sticky sweet purple soda.

"Ugh! It's all over me, what in the world-"

Pyrrha clicked her tongue. "Oh, would you look at that. That's such a _shame_! You should probably get that washed out before it stains your hair purple." Weiss narrowed her eyes dangerously at Pyrrha, who simply regarded the other girl with an expression of innocent, guileless sympathy. "Sorry!" the Mistrali champion called out in her sing-song tone, as Weiss stormed out of the cafeteria.

"At any rate, I think that that was a wonderful sentiment, Jaune," Pyrrha said, bringing the conversation back on track. "We can add some extra training time in the afternoons, to work on your endurance and traversal skills!" That the additional training meant that she could spend _more_ time with Jaune… alone… in the forest… potentially without his shirt on, that did not factor in her decision in any way, shape or form.

"All right, we've got ourselves a race!" He told Ruby. "I'll see you there!"

[/]

Under the _very_ watchful eye of his partner and mentor, Jaune trained hard, running through the forest. He vaulted over fallen logs. He learned where and how to ford rivers. He climbed rock walls.

Ruby ate some cookies. She also maxed out her score on _Super Punchfighter: Championship Punching Edition_.

Jaune learned the terrain by heart. He learned how to tell signs of greater Grimm passing through so he wouldn't be delayed. He did shirtless pushups with Pyrrha laying facedown on his back, with her arms wrapped around his chest.

He wasn't quite sure how that was supposed to help, or why he had to be shirtless, but Pyrrha said it was extremely important, and he trusted her completely.

Ruby tinkered with Crescent Rose and read the latest issue of _X-Ray and Vav. _How would they defeat the likes of The Diddler?

Jaune had grit, determination, and the unwavering support of a dedicated coach. Ruby had an awesome Semblance.

On the day of the race, Ruby and Jaune met and shook hands at the starting line. All of their friends, plus a few of the other students, had gathered to watch the race. Ruby was wearing her normal attire, whereas Jaune had taken off his armor and hoodie, and had his sword slung over his shoulder for when he needed to climb.

"Good luck, Ruby," he said. "I hope you set a record."

"Yeah, I hope my dust tastes good when you eat it," she replied. "Don't worry, I'll make sure I won't embarrass you _too_ badly."

Jaune stretched his calves. "Yeah, I'd appreciate that." He smiled as Pyrrha joined them. She was wearing his hoodie for safekeeping, because she was thoughtful like that. Maybe if he did well - by his standards, he knew he had no chance to beat Ruby - Pyrrha would let him take her to a nice dinner to celebrate, and to thank her for all she did for him. It probably wouldn't mean much to her, being a big celebrity and all, but it would be nice to do something as friends and partners.

She rubbed his shoulders, loosening him up. "Okay Jaune, just remember, one foot in front of the other. You can do this."

"Thanks, Pyrrha!" He gave her a smile and a thumbs-up, which she responded with enthusiasm.

"Dude, get the hint already," Ruby muttered.

Professor Ozpin walked over to stand in between them. "All right children, just remember your training, and push yourselves to do your best. Are you ready?" He saw them nod, and take stances. "All right then. On your mark, get set… go!"

Ruby disappeared in a quick burst of rose petals. Jaune set off at a brisk jog.

[/]

Okay, now where was she going again?

Ruby skidded to a halt as she realized that she'd passed the same rock twice already. She didn't think she'd have to seriously navigate on this race! Wasn't there supposed to be, you know, a _track_ or something?

Her heart dropped as she heard Jaune slowly plodding away some distance behind her. Crap! She was wasting too much time! Triggering her Semblance again, she rocketed straight up over the treeline. She was able to get her bearings and triggered Crescent Rose, propelling herself through the air. Ha! Beat that! She hit the ground at a roll, coming up in just the perfect place to run smack-dab into a tree.

Jaune kept his stride, ignoring the telltale sound of Crescent Rose firing. One foot in front of the other. Breathe in. Breathe out.

Ruby rubbed her head as she sat up. Who put that stupid tree there? She readied her scythe as she heard the slavering noises of a Beowulf.

Check that. An entire pack of Beowulves, and all of them looking at her like she owed them money.

"Aw man," she groused. Ruby triggered her Semblance once more, racing between them at tremendous speed as her scythe cut them apart.

Jaune knew exactly where to grab on the rocky cliff face. By climbing quickly instead of looking for more level ground, he was able to shave precious time off of his route. As he set foot on solid ground, he marveled that he wasn't even breathing hard. Encouraged by the thought, he put one foot in front of the other once more, and again, and again.

As the last of the Beowulves fell to pieces before her might, Ruby looked around. Crap! She'd lost even more time! She triggered her Semblance yet again, dashing up a rocky cliff face. She almost tripped when she saw Jaune in the distance, slightly wet from where he'd just crossed a river.

How had he gotten ahead of her?!

Okay, Ruby may have made some mistakes. But there was no way she could lose when she has her trusty super awesome Semblance! As a cloud of rose petals, she zipped over the ground between her and Jaune. If she approached from this angle, she could overtake Jaune when she landed and he'd never even know he'd ever passed her! Right.

Unfortunately for her, her super awesome Semblance had been carrying her the entire race, and so gave out right when she was over the river. And since she didn't follow Jaune's route, she didn't know that she was over a deeper part, with a powerful current.

"Oh crap."

Ruby had just enough time to realize her predicament before she dropped, with a heavy splash, into the cold water of the river. The current swept her downstream. Okay, she could still salvage this. She just needed to wait for her Semblance to recharge, and then she could -

Was that a waterfall?!

[/]

Jaune plodded across the finish line, smiling as he heard the rest of Team JNPR going absolutely mental. He didn't deserve such good friends, he thought. He also saw the rest of Team RWBY cracking up, with a purple-haired Weiss holding her face in her palm. Well, okay, he might not have won, but he didn't think he'd done _that_ poorly. It certainly wasn't point-at-the-monitor-and-laugh bad. _Yang._

He stretched to cool down as Pyrrha came to grab him in a great hug. She was smiling and laughing. For some reason, making Pyrrha happy always gave him just the best feelings inside. She really was a great friend.

"So, where's Ruby. I want to know how fast she was."

Pyrrha looked up to him and started laughing even harder. As it turned out, when a truly amused Pyrrha Nikos really got going with her laughter, she had the most adorable little snorts. "Jaune," she managed. "You _won! _Look!" She turned him around and pointed at the monitor, where a supremely upset, and drenched, Ruby Rose hung suspended by her cape, which caught on a branch over the river. Her arms flailed wildly, and they could just make out a truly impressive vocabulary of obscenities.

Jaune scratched his head. "Huh. Is she gonna be alright?"

[/]

As it turns out, Jaune's time had been decidedly average, which, to be fair, was downright respectable.

Ruby, on the other hand, had to be fished out of the river and plopped with her team by Glynda Goodwitch. This technically counted as finishing the race, mostly on the grounds that Ozpin found it _hilarious_. This also meant that Ruby really _had_ set a new record, as the slowest student to ever participate in the race. Officially. With numbers and her name on a pretty plaque and everything. Of course, when she saw it, Ruby accepted this with all of the dignity and grace that she could muster.

"_SON OF A BI-"_

"Easy there, Slowpoke. Don't want you getting in trouble." Jaune teased his friend, who turned absolutely apocalyptic.

Being labeled as the slowest student in the history of Beacon taught Ruby that even a natural talent could be insufficient if it wasn't backed up by strong effort. Jaune learned that good enough really could be, well, good enough, especially if the people better than him royally screw up. He also learned that Pyrrha liked him as more than a friend, when she finally just grabbed him and kissed him breathless after their dinner date. Fortunately, by their second date, he finally got the hint.

**[/]**

**Entry Endnotes: Yes, it's "The Tortoise and the Hare," probably the most famous of Aesop's Fables, and yes, you probably all know it already. However, if Game of Thrones taught me anything, it's that "subverting expectations" does not, in and of itself, make a story good. Sometimes, the old stories really are the best ones.**

**-Mahina **


End file.
